Sex Not So Good - ...beat me down and make me less than I am. That infuriates me. THAT is what scares me. What if he does win? Where will "I" go?...

Grandma's Spirit Visits - This may just be that fear in the back of my mind, but I listened to that voice until it was done ...

God's Time - I started crying and said, "He's already ACTING like a drunk!" and I knew it was just the FIRST time and we were on that road again...

I Wouldn't Sleep - ...he got very defensive and turned nasty on the phone. I quietly hung up the phone...grabbed me by the face ...

The Rape - ...afraid of what was happening, confusion, afraid someone would find out. you know, the usual stuff that goes along with being raped...

Follow Him - ...I should not be afraid. I need to pray to strengthen God's course for me...

Unburied - ...so afraid of losing my boys because I lost a baby in each miscarriage. I thought I was okay ...

Rotten Mood and an Angel Message - ...Worthless. Poopy. Bad. Careful. Never mind. What is it to fear? In my head or in reality?...

Choices - ...a guy came running. It scared me, but I don't know why I was taking off my pants. I was trying to be some sort of inspiration to people...

God Wouldn't - ...afraid something will happen and God will take them back. So scary...heart broken...

I Yell to Much - ...about fear of being separate, fear of being "not there"...

Self-Discipline - ...fear of never "amounting to much"...

It's All You - image describing fear of him, fear of isolation, fear of rebuke...

3 Things - ...he did say, "Ass!" followed by, "That figures," and a growl that didn't sound like anything...He wasn't talking to me directly, so why is my heart pounding?...

CARE Appointment - ...looking toward it may have been what kept me sane today after the gun incident - I was terribly upset, not knowing how to handle the fact that he'd discovered my "betrayal"...

Codependency - ...at least his behaviors are at the root of this problem, then aren't I in danger? Aren't the boys in danger?...

He Found the Guns - ...recently threatened to punch Marc, that all of us flinch when he gets near us..., that he's blocked the door..., that his cycles of abuse are shortening and more frequent, that he's already been violent towards me in the past...

Good Advice and a Panic Attack - ...What is causing this anxiety? Why is my heart racing? Am I crazy? What do I DO? But maybe that's the wrong question...

Slap, Push, Left - ...and I remember thinking, "What? What just happened?" I was scared. I was helpless. There was nothing I could do and I didn't say a word in response to him...

Trick or Treat? - ...I jumped on the chance to comfort him. Am I an abuser? Am I living in a fantasy world? Am I sick?...

What is Real? - ...Faulty something?...What if the readers of my new site find out that I think I may be full of shit? Am I full of it? Am I making things up? How do people overcome fear?

Food - My heart is still beating. I don't want to go here tonight. I don't want to do this. I hate it when he...

Gateways - ...The good luck part was definitely a threat. I can only wonder what he thinks he can do and where the attack will come from...

Goodbye and Good Luck! - ...transcript of a fear-inducing conversation...

Look Back - ...a different type of fear... What happens if I let go? ...

Unfinished Note - ...I guess it's a test of the emergency broadcasting system...

Mind Fuck -  I can now clearly see my husband escalating the abuse when ... he's losing control...

Money for a Calendar -  ...I said, "I don't know how your dad is going to take it," because I spent that much money without calling him first...

Money for a Calendar, Pt. II - When Will was yelling so close to me, I smelled the alcohol...I didn't want to have this conversation with him after he'd been drinking.

Pot in the Laundry - ...fear of mishandling the discovery of marijuana in my teen's laundry...