Sex Not So Good - ...cutting into me about something...he married me to fight me, it seems...

I Hate You - ...Unfortunately, I have told him "I hate you" since this day and more than once. More unfortunately, I meant it...

Accept Responsibility - ...how I act when I'm angry, throw fits and yell or cry ...

God's Time - ...and he was talking like he always did in those drinking days - macho ("I'll do what I want - why are you so upset?") and getting mad at me because I didn't want him to drink...

I Have to Have Some Peace

Do Do Do  → I am RUSHING AHEAD (self-judging, anxiety caused by judgmental thoughts, etc.)

Don't Restate - ...Don't be angry at him, it only makes it worse. Don't encourage him to do the old things he used to do - they helped cause it...

15 Minutes - reminded me of my anger and guilt outbreaks. I feel overwhelmed by anger more than guilt, but doesn't guilt usually follow anger? Maybe...no, I don't know...

Army Thing - His question took me so off guard and I got angry. Why ask me this NOW when he's already decided?! We're going to be in the Army. There is no choice...

3 Things - ...Will stormed into the office and said, "I TOLD you this DOG isn't ALLOWed in the HOUSE!" He then chased Tilly around the table and locked her out...

CARE Appointment - ...She advised that if I wasn't currently scared, then I could go home and try to smooth over the situation just to ease the tension...

Do It My Way - ...the conversation is mostly a blur. Not so much because I can't remember it but because it jumped from one place to another. I didn't yell although he did. I didn't get emotional (no further sighs or tears) but he said I did...

He Found the Guns - ...mad about me...mad because my imagination...mad because "Once again, you betrayed me!"...mad because he wouldn't have a weapon handy...mad because there is...

Half Dead Mouse - I didn't say anything else. I had a feeling the peace wouldn't last. Does he expect me to let him insult me without saying anything about it? ...

Jabbing Will - Will confronted me because of what I'd told the therapist. I KNEW he'd been listening...

Long and Painful - he threw my books on the floor, got right in my face and yelled, "You're such a cunt!" This came at a point where we were both out of control. He said he wished he could hit me...

Never Change - he says that at least five times during an argument. We've been arguing every couple or three days for the past two weeks. So he's already about 25% of the way...

Nothing for Me Here - ..."I'm going to go work in the goddam shed because once again, there's nothing in here for me. I come in here to relax and I can't. Thanks, Kellie," and shut the sliding door hard...

Prediction - ...Same argument...Will admitted to arguing with me based on what he predicts I'll say. I asked him why he assumes he knows what I will say. He said because he knows me so well...

I Respect Him Less - ...Marc raised his voice to his dad. Will swiftly replied, "Don't raise your voice to me! I'm really tired of your fuckin' mouth"...

Slap, Push, Left - ...I went over to him and said, "I was talking to you!" Okay. I yelled it. As he got up from the chair to walk away, he said, "Leave me alone, cunt!"...

Threatening Behavior - ...sorry for slapping him and that I had lost control of myself. He hadn't "made" me do it any more than his little brother had "made" him act threateningly...

Tilly -  ...I was upset because he purposefully did what he wanted because my telling him "NO" was ignorant and he didn't see any sense in it...

Trick or Treat? - ...He denies everything. My gut tells me that he's going to resort to physical violence before this is over. I'm going to put the guns in the attic on Monday...

You People - ..."What is HE doing in here?" Will said. Then he hit Eddie's arm hard and said, "BOY, go get in your OWN damn bed!" Eddie got up in the dark, made his way to the door quietly crying...

CARE Appointment 3 - any incident in which I was physically violent with Will should not be reported to the police. It doesn't matter if the violence I inflicted on him was "less" or "not as emotionally damaging." The court doesn't care...

Food - ...My heart started to pound because I knew what was coming next, and I was trying to find a way to avoid it...

Gateways - ...I'll be okay with that. Right now, it hurts. Maybe it hurts because it's supposed to hurt, it was meant to hurt. He meant to hurt me. "Goodbye and good luck." I think he meant to threaten me, too...

Goodbye and Good Luck - Well. That's good to know. You don't care. I've just got one thing to say to you. Good bye and good luck...

Money for a Calendar - "What do you need this for?!" he demanded, "I got you this one from work for free!" and pointed to the huge calendar on the refrigerator...

Money for a Calendar, Pt. II - ...wasn't true and that I wasn't mad at him for WHAT he was saying, but HOW he was saying it, and THAT is why I didn't want to talk...

Mountainous Molehills - ..."There you go again, making MOUNTAINS out of MOLEHILLS!" he yelled. I said, "Okay. I'm done. You're being abusive," and I left the room. Fortunately, he didn't follow me...

Nice Guy - ...When he is "Mr. Nice Guy," it it very easy to think and feel and hope that "the other one" is gone for good. So far, this is not the case. "The other one" always returns unexpectedly...

Pot in the Laundry - ...Because Will and I are so mad at each other, we decided to defer punishment until we got a couple of things worked out between us. Marc is on hold,...

Rape Secret - So my question is, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T ANY OF MY DAMN COUNSELORS JUST GIVE ME THIS LITTLE BIT OF INFORMATION YEARS AGO WHEN IT WOULD HAVE HELPED?!...