What Do You Want From Him?
November 3, 2008
When I went into my counselor's office, he wanted to know what I would change about my husband. I couldn't really think of much to say except for "his anger". So my therapist changed the question to, "If you began a new relationship right now, what would you expect from him?" Here's my list:
- He would respect me
- We could have more discussions and fewer arguments
- I could be silly - I could be myself without ever having to raise my walls
- I would feel safe with him
- He would have high self-esteem and wouldn't be threatened by my self-esteem
- He would be honest always
- He would support my ambitions
- He could admit fault when it was his
- He would be genuinely forgiving
- He'd go on mini-adventures with me
- He would be willing to try to love who I love (family, friends)
- He would support my ability to make decisions independently
- He wouldn't be insecure about other males
- If I ask for some space, he would give it to me
- He would enjoy learning
- He would want us both to be able to have our own individual interests
When I finished my list, my counselor said something that made sense, but it took me by surprise. He said that when he flips a question like that, it pretty much means that my husband is opposite of my answers. He is right. My husband is the opposite of everything I would wish for.
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