The Agreement
Tilly is my dog. Will hates her. Maybe it's because I got her when he was in Iraq without asking him if it was okay. Maybe he hates her because she's "stupid" like he says. She cowers when he's around. I wanted to bring Tilly inside. Will didn't, but he finally agreed to allow her in my office only.
Since we made the agreement, he's used her presence to gripe, complain, and generally disrupt me or yell mean things about or to Tilly whenever the mood strikes.
Tilly
October 4, 2008
Tonight, as Will got ready to go to the races, he was looking for a jacket for his friend, Cade, to borrow. Will insinuated that I lost his blue flannel because "it was here when I left for Iraq [6 years ago!]." He refused to let it die even as Cade said he didn't need it. Storming into the office, he saw the dog was closed in.
He said, "That's fuckin' ignorant to make you stuck in here!"
I yelled out, "No. NO! Don't let her out!" while he kept muttering something about "ignorant." [I had opened the gate for him so they could leave without having to open it themselves so if Tilly ran through it she would be running free in the neighborhood.]
I was still saying not to let the dog out when I got to him and saw her slipping out the dog door. Of course, she made it out the gate and was free before I could stop her.
I came in and explained why I didn't want her out and asked him why he let her go even after I said no. He said, "'Cause it's ignorant to keep the damn thing closed in the house!"
He had been drinking all day. When he went to leave, he came over to me and apologized for letting my dog out. Frankly, the dog would come back. I was upset because he purposefully did what he wanted because my telling him "NO" was ignorant and he didn't see any sense in it.
After He Left
After he left, I sat down with the boys and told them I had learned some things that made me unhappy. But I was most unhappy because I had probably said some things to them that defined them and subjected them to verbal abuse. I told them I was going to change it, and that I wanted them to read the lists in the book so they would start to recognize it when it happened.
I told them I was sorry for anything I had already said, and my biggest prayer is that we all FOUR come out of this on the greener side. A piece of me has my doubts that can happen. Will has said plenty of times that he "won't change." I believe him.
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