I'm Trying to Protect You
December 5, 2008
An argument tonight started because I told Will how he'd insulted me under the guise of trying to "protect" me. We were having a simple conversation about Eddie's possible summer activities. It could have ended when he said, "We won't know until the middle of January if this is even possible."
But it didn't. He had to tell me that going to boy scout summer camp was important because it could lead to Eagle. I told him I agreed; the reason I brought up the alternate Junior Leader camp as something Eddie may want to do because it was an honor. I wanted to bring it to his attention now in case there was a way we could swing it.
Will started to tell me that the world wasn't as simple as I seemed to think. Eddie could get "peered out" of Scouts if he didn't go to summer camp. I told Will that I hadn't seen any proof of that. After all, I'm the one who takes the boys to scout meetings, and I'm the one who the leaders call if they need something. I didn't agree with the assertion that not going to scout summer camp would jeopardize his chance at reaching Eagle. He would have to make up the badges on his own time, but he would be the one to make that decision.
Then Will said that I was naive in how I viewed the world - not everyone believed that we are all "equal" like I do. I said that I know that not everyone looks at everyone as equal, but that I chose to do so until an individual proves to me otherwise. Just because I live life as I feel it "should" be doesn't mean that I cannot "see" that there is in fact prejudice in the world.
He started to get a little frustrated that (why?) - I don't know why he was frustrated. I disagreed; I saw things differently. I wasn't asking him to change his viewpoint, I was simply unwilling to change my own because in my experience, my view is also valid.
In fact, I don't even know WHY the "equality" thing came into play. Unless it was because of an earlier discussion about the race/sex/veteran status card that came to me from the college. (I put in an application, and then sent me a voluntary card asking those things.) He said to check "other" as my race so I get hiring preference. I said that I was proud to be "white" and there wasn't a block for "other" even if I wanted to check it. I teased him a little saying that "Maybe it'll be enough that I'm 'female.'" That conversation evidently ticked him off a little.
Later, he said that he was trying to protect me from the world by advising what he did. I said, okay, but I didn't want his protection if it meant he wanted me to go against what I thought to be right.
Anyway, the four points he wanted to make (about scout camp?) were:
- Eddie would be "peered out" of scouts if he didn't go to scout camp
- I didn't understand how the real world worked and wouldn't get the job at the college because of what I checked on the form
- I was naive to the fact that the world was not as great as I thought it was and my experience at Curves had taught me nothing (that's for another entry-let it suffice to say that I did learn a lot from my short time at Curves!)
- He has been in the real world a lot longer than me and his experience was therefore more realistic than my own
I don't get it. How did my presentation of an alternate summer activity turn into a lecture about how ill-equipped I am to deal with reality and the world in general?!
So anyway, I told him that his entire speech insulted me. He had in fact told me how I was "wrong." And as I write this, I realize that he must have been waiting to tell me I was wrong about what block I checked on that stupid postcard, because I don't see how most of the above statements relate to summer camp at all.
Soon after I pointed out how I had been insulted, he launched into his complaint about how we can't even have a simple conversation without it me making a mountain out of a molehill.
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