Prediction
December 5, 2008
Same argument.
Will admitted to arguing with me based on what he predicts I'll say. I asked him why he assumes he knows what I will say. He said because he knows me so well.
I asked him why, if he knows me so well, does he choose the phrases and words that he knows would hurt me the most? I asked him why he tries to use his assumptions to push me out of the conversation, decision-making processes, and child-rearing.
He said that he is concerned because he wants the boys to learn his negative attitude as well as my positive one, but he doesn't have as much time with the boys as I do. Therefore, I should teach them his viewpoint too.
I asked him how I could possibly teach them a viewpoint I didn't hold. I told him that the way to teach his viewpoint was through example and conversation. When he deployed, he could write letters, emails, or make phone calls to his boys. Know what he said to that? "That isn't me - you KNOW that isn't me!"
So me pretending to hold his viewpoints is me being me? Or is it me pretending to be him, sending mixed messages to the boys about what my own viewpoints MAY or MAY NOT be?!
At least he said that he predicts what I am going to say. I should have told him that "predicting" is one of the indicators of verbal abuse. Maybe he would have believed me because I used "HIS" word instead of the word of "one of those fuckers that write those books you love."
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