Do They Get It?
October 26, 2008
Haven't been to Al-Anon again. Haven't been to Ala-Teen either. I'm doubting the wisdom of participating in something that works only on "me" when working on "me" has been the biggest waste of time I've faced during this awakening.
I've talked to the kids about using jokes as a way to control. Eddie stated that he hated it when Dad laughingly claimed, "Verbal Abuse! Kellie, I'm being verbally abused!" He's said that a lot that first week after our family talk.
I told Marc and Eddie that in making jokes about it, Will is able to say that the idea of verbal abuse is a joke to him and our feelings about it are funny to him.
All of a sudden, the boys "got it." I hate that. I hate that this has to happen. I hate that I haven't written it all down as it's transpired. I'll do a better job.
Of course, Will is on his best behavior right now.
He and I had another "talk" recently. He seems to be open to acknowledging some aspects of the verbal abuse we've endured, but completely closed to others. I think he's willing to admit he calls us names and yells, but isn't willing to concede that his behavior is designed to control us.
I'll keep trying to get through, but I don't know for how much longer. I'm feeling exhausted and on edge most of the time.
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