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Geesh My Back is Fat

July 6, 2007

I caught another look at myself in the mirror today. I am fat. I just am. There's no way around it anymore. My face is, my ass is, my BACK is.... Geesh. I feel like shit. Let's see what Tarot card I feel like....

How appropriate. "Judgment."

Judgment

These people (in the Klimt Tarot deck) look like they feel like shit too. And yet, the word "Judgment" makes me feel a little better.

I am judging myself. When I state the fact, "I am fat," it feels true. I know it is. But when I say, "I am FAT" and that's all I am, ugly and fat, then my emotions take over and I feel like shit.

Emotions don't really belong here. Emotions are what helps to keep me stagnant. Stagnant is what I eat, what I do and don't do to my body, and what I "allow" myself to enjoy.

My first thought is to tighten the reins and STOP eating crap and START exercising. But that's an emotional reaction. I need a mindful plan with a motivation that is NOT emotion-based. Instead of, "I'm fat and ugly and I want to be slim and sexy," I must find a mindful statement that I can live with....

The Secret?

I can't fully believe that I'm already slim and sexy. Maybe fat and sexy! But I cannot stretch it to "slim and sexy" yet. Let's see...

Hmmm... I deserve to be strong, healthy and sexy, inside AND out. I deserve to be strong, healthy and sexy, inside AND out. Now there's a thought I can get behind, now and in the future when I am slim too!

I deserve to be strong, healthy and sexy, inside and out.

I deserve to be strong, healthy and sexy, inside and out.

 

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